Pulmotor.com

Hooray! Nicollette Sheridan is taking her Desperate Housewives apple and chucking right through Marc Cherry's window today!

Judge Elizabeth Allen White has granted the former Desperate cast member permission to sue the Men's Warehouse pants right off her old boss for alleged assault and battery, gender violence, wrongful termination and discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation and age! She's after $20 million!

Marc's lawyers tried to sway the judge by asking Nicollette's lawyers to clarify the discrimination portion of her complaint, but she wasn't having it. (Obviously, she agreed that the show tanked for a good season and half once her character met her demise!)

Get ready to see an EPIC Hollywood showdown with this one. ABC will come in with guns a'blazin', while Nicollette will wear a tasteful yet uber stylish court attire. Maybe we'll even get to hear a testimony or two from some of her former costars.

Screw the next season of Housewives! Put the cameras in this courtroom!!!

[Image via WENN.]

We feel like we basically took care of the "Open Letter" thing with our video Life Coaching With Perez: An Open Letter To Lindsay Lohan, but for those of you out there who'd like to see more, here's an open letter from entertainment anchor/radio host Pat O'Brien:

Dear Lindsay:

Do us all a favor and take a snapshot of your life on this Friday, Sept. 3, 2010. By all accounts, you are reasonably healthy right now.

You are out of jail.

You've completed another rehab. Right now, people are buying tickets to your movie, "Machete," with a formidable Hollywood cast. And you grace the cover of the new Vanity Fair magazine, looking ever the movie star with all the accompanying door prizes and presents: beauty, happiness, confidence, youth and that "have it all" look that the woman you are channeling, Grace Kelly, possessed. This is all good.

But hopefully, you'll also take a look at the negative of that photo you just snapped … and ponder what life has been and what life can be. Indeed, it was Grace Kelly who said of Hollywood: "It's a town without pity. I know of no other place in the world where so many people suffer from nervous breakdowns, where there are so many alcoholics, neurotics and so much unhappiness."

From where we all sit, this is also a big part of your snapshot … and despite all the crazy and mostly embellished media coverage of your life's journey, there remain a great number of people who are worried about you. I am one of them. I am also one of those alcoholics that Grace Kelly spoke of.

I've been through it, Lindsay. For me, there has been no jail, no courtroom antics, no ankle bracelet and, thankfully, I don't have the paparazzi snapping my every move. But I, too, have the same demons you have, and it's no fun. But there is good news and bad news about these demons. The bad news is that they never go away: We're wired differently. The good news is that with a certain amount of willingness, structure and personal inventory, those demons can be arrested. And the ones who survive, like myself so far, are the ones who accept that these are the cards that were handed us and we don't have to always gamble our lives away.

The important thing to remember is that this is your life and nobody else's. And there's no blame; it's not the media's fault or the paparazzo's fault or even your father's fault. He's got enough problems of his own. It has nothing to do with growing up too fast or being too young or even the jungle Grace Kelly hated called Hollywood. It's a seemingly simple, yet incredibly complicated disorder that millions of Americans share. It's a brain disease that brings terrible and embarrassing consequences. There's no cure, but with the right focus it can be tamed. [It's] not my place to tell you how to do this because, by now, you know where to seek help.

The great late talk-show host Tom Snyder once asked me on his show, "What killed Elvis?" My answer was, "Not what, but who?" I went on to explain that nobody ever said no to the King of Rock and Roll and eventually that killed him. Nobody said much to Marilyn Monroe, either. The brilliant and talented Dennis Hopper had his demons and conquered them and died with years of sobriety, yet the 10th, 11th and 12th words in his obituary were "drugs and alcohol."

It really isn't any of our business, but we are all spectators in what has become a sad three-ring circus. We buy Vanity Fair. We buy movie tickets. We give up precious moments of our busy lives to watch some of those television shows looking for a rating by ambushing you. (Yeah, "The Insider" really wanted to do a story on your closet!) So we are invested in the Lindsay Lohan business, and I have to be honest that most of us are rooting for you.

On this Friday, your press is great. Your castmates are loving and holding out their hands in a snapshot you should frame. Take a deep breath and look at yourself right now and think how it would be if every day was like this: full of smiles and promises. I hope you've learned that this is possible. Many have discovered a new journey, and it's a much more satisfying road with a better destination. You have to realize that the consequences of denial start to get much more serious than Perez Hilton making fun of you. Sadly, it's well-documented that the consequence waiting for you could be death. To me, it seems an easy choice.

In the meantime, good luck with the movie, hand out the new Vanity Fair to your real friends and take life one day at a time.

Hopefully, I'll see you soon. I suggest the nearest Starbucks.

Your friend,

Pat O'Brien

What do U think of Pat O'Brien's advice to Lindsay?

[Images via WENN.]

Ouch! You pay your dues and you still can't get any respect. Tough gig, girl!

On Friday, Robert Rodriguez’s Machete will open to theaters, but just last week, Hollywood gathered to celebrate the film at it's premiere. Everyone, that is, but Lindsay Lohan!

Even though she had just been released from rehab the day before and she stars in the film as a wealthy and spoiled junkie daughter of a politician who makes sex tapes with her mom, insiders from the red carpet were led to believe that LiLo wasn't invited to the premiere because of her notoriety. The filmmakers were concerned that should LiLo attend, it would be a massive disruption and take the attention away from the movie.

A movie, mind you, that Lindsay is naked in the majority of the time, which maybe the only draw for some people!

When sources reached out to Lindsanity's mother, Dina, for comment on the matter, she simply said:

“We are in a great place and I am not commenting there!”

Finally! A topic about Lindsay's life her parents are willing to shut the hell up about! Oh, happy day!

This is actually quite heartbreaking. It just goes to show that no amount of money or fame can replace a sense of security when one's safety has been compromised.

Late last June, a grand jury filed into a Los Angeles courtroom to hear testimonies about the infamous "Bling Ring" burglaries that terrorized several recognizable young Hollywood stars, from the stars themselves.

The hearing apparently went on without anyone knowing the wiser, but today, documents from the hearing have been unsealed and they offer more details on how these crimes took their toll on the celebs.

Among those in attendance was Lindsay Lohan, who two weeks after would be sentenced to prison. She gave a detailed account of arriving at her house on the night it was broken into. She told the jury that she was forced to move out of her home after one of the burglars left black fingerprints on her wall. The sight was no unnerving, she just had to leave. She told the court:

"That night I went back to the house, I just felt, to be honest, so violated and uncomfortable that I literally packed as much stuff as I could because it wasn't about the things that were taken, it was just the fact that someone came into the only private space that I have in my life at this point."

This feeling of violation was echoed by the other stars who testified, including Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and Paris Hilton. Rachel Bilson confessed that she too thought about selling her house after it was looted because she just didn't feel safe there anymore. She told the jurors:

"It took me a while to feel comfortable staying there. I wouldn't sleep in my bedroom for about a month. And I was convinced that I needed to sell my house and get out of there, because I was very scared. But I'm still there."

After Rachel, Orlando told the panel how the break-in at his home had left him "distrustful" of the people around him, especially after he realized his carefully hidden collection of watches were stolen. He explained:

"It's just awful because you are suddenly second-guessing everything. You are like, 'Who has been in my house?' You know, the value of things kind of fades away. It's really about who is it, who am I starting to question?"

Such a shame! No one deserves to feel so unsafe in their own homes!

The good thing is, with these testimonies in place, there will be no need for preliminary hearings when the five remaining Bling Ring members face their charges. Their cases will straight to trial.

A little vindication, if nothing else.

[Image via WENN.]